He’s been bugging me all day! Since the husband has his official job about 200 km away, but we built our nest here in Steinau, he sits here at home today!
In “my” living room! The man has a public holiday – and all other family members do not.
If you followed this blog closely, you will know that the husband and I sometimes have a weekend relationship. Sometimes more and sometimes less, as it is, when the mainly working part is on the road a lot in Germany. This is not always easy with three children (I already reported about it here), on the other hand I enjoy my freedoms and the morning rest!
Yes, from time to time I have to get used to the situation and adapt to the fact that someone is sitting around!)
And today I am loaded! I don’t know exactly why. But I have the presumption to be a walking powder keg on this outrageous holiday that divides the whole of Germany.
And what conversations between man and woman look like under just that circumstance, I just had to compile now! Only for you! Quite openly and honestly and shamefully nothing to it poems! I am really like that today!
Well, humour is probably when woman and man laugh anyway.
So here are my previous “best of” of today:
“Can I show you something cool on your blog system?”
As I am working on various WordPress settings early in the morning my husband arrives from the site and disturbs me!
More than that! After months of “ignorance” (I’m already starting to exaggerate a little!) about the settings of this blog, he now has the nerve to show me something!
My arms cross automatically and the defiant pout lip extends, can’t change it at all. I don’t want to learn anything now!
Five minutes later the husband is sitting in front of my laptop, expectant and full of anticipation to finally present his latest discovery to me.
“You’re about to erase everything! Nooooo! please, please don’t!
So I’m actually about to accuse the IT student of destroying my blog right now. Oh no, he’s going to delete the whole Internet, for
sure! But I just don’t stop:
“NO! I don’t want to look now, I don’t have time!”
At this point it should be explained that it is always difficult to convince me of new proposals and changes.
Such things first have to be processed and matured in a lengthy process. Mommy always switches to defense first. Now that the man has known
this behavior for eighteen (Oh you holy sh .!!) years, he shows himself to be extremely annoyed by my behavior, but remains stubborn.
And quite secretly, behind closed doors, I admit here now meekly: The idea is not so bad at all! I will deal with and implement it as soon as possible! More is not revealed at this point yet. 😉
In the late afternoon, another “dispute” breaks out.
Whether of a concern which drives me concerning the middle daughter and does not want to let go any more.
The man shows a corresponding reaction to my announcement to him, my concerns expressed.
But in my present condition I now unfortunately interpret it as the following:
dismissing my thoughts and behaviour as completely ridiculous, he smashes his hands over his head laughing.
(He doesn’t really do that at that moment, but seconds later my brain just makes me believe it and inevitably makes me furious! )
“Yes, of course! Just because YOU think you’re the hot pike now!”
“You know everything better than that anyway! And I’m the crazy one!”
Now I’m getting into gear, I’m slopping towards it inexorably, now I’m really stepping on the gas and climbing into the box.
“YOU are running after all the women at work. Ist klar!”
(actually has nothing to do with the topic and the thing and is an absolutely unfounded insinuation on my part)
“You’re slim now, and you’re the hottest and smartest anyway!”
(further insinuation 😉 )
Inevitably I now have scenes in my mind’s eye: I
feel, like Fräulein Schnabelstedt, from from the german movie “Fack ju Göhte” in absolute top form.
Only in the scenes there it was comedy and exaggerated theatricality.
“Miniminiminimi, bitch, bitch, bitch” – Karoline Herfurth couldn’t do better! 😉
But I’ll add another one:
“I heard you on the phone this morning!”
The husband was on the phone with the shipping giant – a complaint thing. To the given and admittedly “scripted” question of the friendly lady at the other end of the line, if she “could do anything else for him” my dearest husband reacted promptly:
“Sure! You might as well mow my lawn.”
Fucking old macho! What did I actually marry there, it already shot through my head at that moment!
“Yeah. You are such a hero!”
I can’t stop myself anymore.
Snorting and angry-red I stomp outside, the rodent cage urgently needs to be cleaned before dark.
In my rage I pour the complete contents (thank God without rodents!) upside down into the organic barrel – and can speak of luck not to have to fish the wooden parts out of the depths of the brown container afterwards.
Because as a reminder,
I put the thing together on my own. WITHOUT the help of the highly intelligent Adonis inside on the couch! Pah!
I enter the house again and add more:
“And besides I find it mega crap from you that you always want to make me believe that I would have no chance with the opposite sex anyway! He’s supposed to be glad he got at least one. I get it! After all, I’m crazy, fat and useless!”
Wow! Now even Schnabelstedt would tip his jaw down in admiration! I’ve so outdone them once!
The man, on the other hand, says nothing more and laughs broadly grinning.
And at that very moment I can’t help it: loudly it blows out of me.
Whether the sudden realization how ridiculous I am today on “riot brushed”, I can’t help but laugh. Yes, I am quite sure, today no other man in the world would want to be married to me of all people! 😉
Be nice to all of you!